Its not okay
by korohoshi
Summary: Its broken. You try your best to be strong. Strong, cuz you already know it's hard and it'll keep getting harder. Be strong. Just keep holding on. Hold on. OCs!alert written on second person-style?
1. Chapter 1

This is an outlet for my feelings. I cri...

Disclaimer: I am nothing but a fool. Obviously.

* * *

It hurts.

It hurts.

It really does hurts.

You are trying your best not to make a sound as you cried.

Because.

It mother fucking hurts like a bitch.

You screamed in silence. In the silence, you screamed bloody murder. You know you are screaming but you also know you can't make a sound or else a domino effect will happen.

You gotta stay strong.

You will stay strong.

They need you to stay strong because if you falter and they see you crumble, despair will follow.

Hold on to your tight grip. The grip you have on to the reality.

Because, you know it.

Oh, how YOU just know it. How you really do know about _it. It._

 _It. **IT**_ **.**

 **It as in family being broken.** _Broken._

 _..._

 _God awfully_ broken.

You soundlessly screamed again. Breathing with your mouth. Your nose is clogged.

You just have to breathe. Breathe.

...

Just a single missed step and its broken.

.

Broken like it would never be whole again. Never be complete and not missing a part.

Shit.

If only you could-

You...

You...?

And just when you thought you've calmed down you broke down again and withheld a sob.

 _Stay strong._ You reminded yourself.

Deep breaths.

Deep breaths.

...

Inhale...

Exhale...

...

You realized it immediately.

You have always been the type to realize and take account the reality of things.

You realized... You can't do anything.

You. Motherfucking. Can't. Do. A thing...

The damage has been done and now your family is as broken as the china glass that your stupid, shortsighted brother threw in rage.

...

Someone raised him wrong and now... Now. _Now._

Now... Now, the oblivious and slightly at fault but innocent ones are reaping what they didn't sow.

* * *

*Just a few run down... Run downs? Huh... Meh

Yes, I am stupid.

Yes, its written badly.

Yes, I suck.

Yes, I curse.

Yes, you can flame.

Yes, its one of those sad OP characters... You can leave anytime you want. I won't blame you. Afterall, this is just but an outlet.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I am nothing but a fool. Obviously.

* * *

With a sudden jolt that ran throughout your whole body, you suddenly came to consciousness. You noticed immediately how hard it is to open your eyes. Then, the memories of the previous day came crushing back on you. It made you shiver unconsciously. For what? You do not know.

It seems like you have exhausted and cried yourself to sleep.

 _'Maybe, I can-'_

You stopped yourself forcefully on a straying thought of darkness. .

 _'No.'_ You told yourself, ' _I_ _am not gonna do that. For mama. For aneki. For otouto. I need to stay strong.'_

You need to think of the important things. Your precious people. You need to think of them first.

It will be hard. It's a long way to recovery but atleast you need to get them moving.

With a resolute glance to the side, 5:49 A.M., your clock says.

It's hard to face the new day. It's like despair followed you like a clingy stupid stain.

The bed creaked as you dragged yourself up to start preparing for the day. You slowly trudged to the bathroom after taking with you your towel and a new set of clothes to wear.

Last night, you had a talk will your mom and aneki.

The family is going to need a new source of income to pay for the living expenses of 4 people: a young mother, three growing kids with the ages of 12, 6 and 2. And, there's the debt that came from grandfather from your father's side.

He, who was a drunkard and a gambler, your grandfather had fallen into debt to a very shady, cruel and powerful person. Your father is the only living relative he has. And so, the debt has fallen unto your family's shoulders.

The family has been trying to save money to repay for 5 months now. The debt will have to be paid with atleast 7-8% of the principal amount, quarterly. There is no interest. But. You know how large the amount is. And. It is no joke.

The first to decide on what to do was your mother. Your mom is going back to work in the hospital. She is a civilian doctor who took a very, very early retirement. The pay will be enough to feed you but with the debt, you will have to starve it seems.

The twelve year old is your older sister that wants you to call her aneki. She has decided that after graduation which is just a month away, she's going to try and look for work. She wants to be an apprenticed to a master on the art of dancing but now her future goal will have to be changed. She decided to pursue to become a merchant. Mom has a friend, a travelling merchant, who has been offering to take aneki as his apprentice. He said, he noticed how aneki has a natural flare for the trade. She said that she's going to take advantage of that offer.

You remembered their crying faces as they seriously decided on what to do to help the family.

You didn't know what to make of your future. But, the three of you know what is the most well paying job there is. It hung a over cloud of depression on you. The expectation is suffocating.

You are to enter the Academy.

Your parents' friend will nominate and vouch for you to enter the academy. Your parents' friend had always been an odd fellow who had taken a liking to you. He had been hanging around for a long time that you have acknowledged him as an uncle.

You know he is your godfather. Not your sister or brother, but you, only you. He had told you himself that he became your godfather from a bet with your father on what your gender will be. The bet was made way before you were created, he assured you.

It wasn't comforting, though.

Kenichi Sakamoto, your godfather's name, is going to visit today. Your mom will break the news for you but you need to get ready. Based from your experience with him, which was to say quite a lot, he is going to drag you to the Academy whether you are ready or not.

* * *

* Sorry, CPTs and exams will plague me for quite awhile.


End file.
